An utterly, beautiful expression of God’s love for man. A helpmate. A fellow gardener. A friend. A caregiver. A lover. A mother. A……..bodily representation of part of the very character of God. Fashioned.
Sometimes I struggle with what that woman role looks like, or rather should look like in my life. There is the mainstream view….totally equal to man, if not downright superior. There is the American media view…fabulous sex object if you are the right size and shape. Yes there is even a church view of women….a sort of mold that the church sort of shows us and urges us toward. There are countless others I encounter every day.
To be honest the mold that offends me the most is the sex object view, but an ever close second is probably the one I feel pressed in by myself. Some idea I’m buying into that it isn’t okay to be a woman, in the church, who loves and feels passionate about God’s word. To have the results on my spiritual gifts assesment…I mean what exactly does Pastor/Shepard look like in a woman? I am actually afraid of what people will say and think if I do less in some areas and focus more in other areas. Areas that I feel stirred to the point of tears in.
I guess I have no answers today. I’m only here for therapy.
Me….wife, best friend, mother, daughter, sister, friend, caregiver, and Christ follower.
I had to walk away for a minute.
I don’t know how to wrap up this thought. It is so afresh in my mind.
I can not live trying to shove myself into another mold. It is exhausting. Painful. Unnatural. And would be the very undoing of who God fashioned me to be.