Have I mentioned patience isn’t my forte?
If I have something to tell Mike, I want to tell him RIGHT now. And if I know that I should wait for an hour till he gets home and not bother him at work, then I could very well HAVE to remind myself to be patient every five minutes. Literally. Every five minutes. I need a literal, mental reboot.
I feel ashamed to admit this and actually somewhat pleased simultaneously. What I am busy doing while I fight myself, is taking thoughts captive and making them obedient. It is absolutely vital that I learn to be obedient in the quiet.
So when I tell you that I’m asking God for the ability to respond lovingly when I’m feeling impatient, you can now imagine the battle. Again and again. Desperate for God to show up in me and through me.
Nope, not talking about Mike, who is currently sitting beside me enjoying a last snack before he must begin his fast for surgery. A bagel and some crackers. Not exactly the last snack I’d choose. I’d be doggedly pursuing the bottom of the bag of conversation hearts. You know. To each his own.